remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
