Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
