Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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