The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
drinking out of a sandbucket again
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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