She is in my trunk
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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