I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize