Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
