My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Randomize
