Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
