Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
