Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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