is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize