Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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