I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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