my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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