you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize