So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
