Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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