If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
