Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
