What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize