I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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