Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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