I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
