please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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