I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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