when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
