he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
