We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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