My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Acid is not a monday night drug
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
