So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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