my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
