Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
