wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
