I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i've created a new STD.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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