The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
