their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
