I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
