It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she smelled like a LAN party
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i've created a new STD.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
