I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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