Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
