so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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