Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Alive.
So much puke
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
