Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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