So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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