dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
