the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
