did you get engaged???
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I believe in your delicious
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
