her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
