Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
