he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
it glows. i had to have it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
