the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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