I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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