He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize