Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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