I want to stick my p in your. b.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
