I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I can't put those talents on a resume
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
